A couple of years after I joined my work place, a senior colleague of mine, received a coveted award for his contribution to the facility. I know him well and was happy for him. A part of me just wondered, if I would receive such an award one day. I told my self to stop fantasizing. I was an underdog all through high school. Not that I had fun, I just couldn't digest things the way they were. I worked hard, had my nose in all the prescribed book, but nothing would get inside. The results got my parents worried, can't blame them though, and I felt inferior. In college I did better. The prescribed books were far better, and most of them penned by foreign authors.
Getting my current job was a real morale booster. And I thought thinking about the award is a little far fetched. I stopped thinking about it.
I went on about work, giving it my best. And then after 4 years, I got nominated for the award and received it four months later. I was elated. I took my wife along, for the award ceremony.
More importantly, I got back my confidence. I felt that I could achieve many things, solve a lot of problems. I worked harder with more confidence.
Coincidentally, I had to attend a Promotion Interview for promotion to the next grade.
The Interviews are conducted in the HQ. The HQ prides itself in being a premier research centre. We are not exactly a research centre. The Interview committee consists of senior officials from the HQ.
Here is something important that needs to be highlighted.
The HQ is a full fledged research centre, where the primary focus is on research. We on the other hand are supposed to have a primary focus of Production, but unfortunately our office is torn between these two fundamentally incompatible values.
I believe, that the purpose of a production centre is to get the job done. However in a Research Centre, like our HQ, emphasis is laid on assimilating knowledge, with little or no output. The primary focus of most of the people, I believe is to publish papers.
Now I had to prepare for the interview. Normally a write-up is sent for the reference of the committee. The candidate is also aware of the contents of the write-up.
Being an Instrumentation Engineer, my job description should have automation projects using PLCs etc. However due to certain managerial issues, I was restricted to Relay Logic technology only. I worked on Relays for a year and a half, thinking I would be assigned to PLCs. That didn't happen.
I guess some people were insecure and some were timid, and I was stuck in between them.
Fortunately, due a person working in a different group, I could do something that was intellectually stimulating and after completing that task I received an award.
Before the interviews, there were mock interviews and my superior told me that it would be embarrassing for him and me, if I claimed that I hadn't worked in the domain of PLC etc.
So here I was spending precious time reading about PLCs and it features, despite not working on it. I felt frustrated. I read almost everything in my writeup.
Along with a colleague who had to attend the same interview, I went to the HQ.
We were given a room, next to the rooms of PhD scholars, and Trainees. Needless to say, the rooms were dirty and extremely obnoxious. We got it changed and it was the same in other room. In addition my colleague was a snorer. Not that I can blame him for that. A night before the interview, I didn't sleep. A day before, my domain expert asked me read some complicated equations. (Domain experts are people who are supposedly experts in the domains in which I work.)
The next day, I was groggy. In the Interview, I was not at my best. On top of that, I was being interrogated and intimidated by certain panel members. There were some irrelevant questions too.
I didn't make it.
I was devastated. I didn't know what to do. I was completely demoralized.
An award winner and a loser.
I was ashamed to go back to office. How could I face people in my office ?
I somehow went to office. From the car park to my desk, I could feel a lump in my throat.
I would be constantly reminded of my failure by people who actually cared and people who just needed fodder for gossip.
And there were those, who would ask me How can an award winner fail in an Interview.
I doubted myself, if I received the award on merit or was it just a random selection.
A few days passed, I thought I should pursue higher studies in a foreign country, then decided against it.
I initiated the expansion of my project, because it would help the office and was truly motivating.
At home, I read a management book that my father suggested, ' The Effective Executive ' by Peter Drucker. There were many good points in the book. One that relates to my Interview fiasco is that performance in school is a measure of promise that a person can deliver, however it is the actual work that a person does that counts.
Keeping this in mind, I could make peace. I worked hard, I got the job done, that's why I am getting paid. But I couldn't answer some questions and couldn't show promise. But I did some awesome work on my own, which was satisfying and met the targets of the office.
But some times I do feel a pang of sad emotions.
Getting my current job was a real morale booster. And I thought thinking about the award is a little far fetched. I stopped thinking about it.
I went on about work, giving it my best. And then after 4 years, I got nominated for the award and received it four months later. I was elated. I took my wife along, for the award ceremony.
More importantly, I got back my confidence. I felt that I could achieve many things, solve a lot of problems. I worked harder with more confidence.
Coincidentally, I had to attend a Promotion Interview for promotion to the next grade.
The Interviews are conducted in the HQ. The HQ prides itself in being a premier research centre. We are not exactly a research centre. The Interview committee consists of senior officials from the HQ.
Here is something important that needs to be highlighted.
The HQ is a full fledged research centre, where the primary focus is on research. We on the other hand are supposed to have a primary focus of Production, but unfortunately our office is torn between these two fundamentally incompatible values.
I believe, that the purpose of a production centre is to get the job done. However in a Research Centre, like our HQ, emphasis is laid on assimilating knowledge, with little or no output. The primary focus of most of the people, I believe is to publish papers.
Now I had to prepare for the interview. Normally a write-up is sent for the reference of the committee. The candidate is also aware of the contents of the write-up.
Being an Instrumentation Engineer, my job description should have automation projects using PLCs etc. However due to certain managerial issues, I was restricted to Relay Logic technology only. I worked on Relays for a year and a half, thinking I would be assigned to PLCs. That didn't happen.
I guess some people were insecure and some were timid, and I was stuck in between them.
Fortunately, due a person working in a different group, I could do something that was intellectually stimulating and after completing that task I received an award.
Before the interviews, there were mock interviews and my superior told me that it would be embarrassing for him and me, if I claimed that I hadn't worked in the domain of PLC etc.
So here I was spending precious time reading about PLCs and it features, despite not working on it. I felt frustrated. I read almost everything in my writeup.
Along with a colleague who had to attend the same interview, I went to the HQ.
We were given a room, next to the rooms of PhD scholars, and Trainees. Needless to say, the rooms were dirty and extremely obnoxious. We got it changed and it was the same in other room. In addition my colleague was a snorer. Not that I can blame him for that. A night before the interview, I didn't sleep. A day before, my domain expert asked me read some complicated equations. (Domain experts are people who are supposedly experts in the domains in which I work.)
The next day, I was groggy. In the Interview, I was not at my best. On top of that, I was being interrogated and intimidated by certain panel members. There were some irrelevant questions too.
I didn't make it.
I was devastated. I didn't know what to do. I was completely demoralized.
An award winner and a loser.
I was ashamed to go back to office. How could I face people in my office ?
I somehow went to office. From the car park to my desk, I could feel a lump in my throat.
I would be constantly reminded of my failure by people who actually cared and people who just needed fodder for gossip.
And there were those, who would ask me How can an award winner fail in an Interview.
I doubted myself, if I received the award on merit or was it just a random selection.
A few days passed, I thought I should pursue higher studies in a foreign country, then decided against it.
I initiated the expansion of my project, because it would help the office and was truly motivating.
At home, I read a management book that my father suggested, ' The Effective Executive ' by Peter Drucker. There were many good points in the book. One that relates to my Interview fiasco is that performance in school is a measure of promise that a person can deliver, however it is the actual work that a person does that counts.
Keeping this in mind, I could make peace. I worked hard, I got the job done, that's why I am getting paid. But I couldn't answer some questions and couldn't show promise. But I did some awesome work on my own, which was satisfying and met the targets of the office.
But some times I do feel a pang of sad emotions.
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