Under one roof

When the office seems like paradise, home is like an empty well, welcome to the gateway of hell.
Soul less and mind less we fall into a trap, the trap that revolves around a fire with a guise of a new beginning. 
People wash off their hands, as it is just a mere responsibility.
Laughing faces, smiling faces, content faces, all a farce.
Illogical traveling and maudlin dramatics, that is just the tip of the ice berg.
The honks and the race, just to add salt to an open wound.
The screw and the nut, all but mis matched.
And there passes multiple hours, under the same roof, with honks and races, and curses.
And behold the weekends come, the dreaded weekends, where the only solace is a metal string with a sweet melody.
And time goes on, with the demand to produce, to make the last mistake. The last nail in the coffin of my life.
But all in vain, as the screw and nut don't make the fit.
There seems to be a a dark tunnel in front with no light at the end, and there by goes life with honks and races to remind me of hell.
Living life for others, that is not the way to go,  but alas that is exactly what we do.
No respect, no love, its an arrangement that has no fun.
So help me god, as I am going nuts.


 

A Taste of Politics

I 've heard a lot of people talk about politics in the office. I never really understood what it really meant. But after five years of working , I have come to realise its meaning in a true sense. It all started when I was assigned a project. I worked on it for a solid two and a half years. I toiled in front of the computer. During that time people discouraged me from using the technique, I was using because it seemed difficult and complicated. I finished it just recently and presented it in our annual technical seminar. After my presentation, looking at my future work, I was invited by a Director of another institute to visit a similar project of his institute.  I was happy and overjoyed.
I started working towards that project. But when it came to visiting that place, suddenly many people got interested. All of them were assigned similar projects, but they did not even complete a tenth of their job. Fine, I said to myself, as long as my project is not affected, I really don't care, if other people tag along with me.
We visited the place and gained a lot of knowledge.
After returning, I briefed my immediate superior. To my surprise, a meeting was convened at 1600 hrs with the other 3 members of the team and other people who were in my previous section (before the organizational restructuring).
Over there they were talking about a project team to be formed, the area for the new project. And all this by the person who is not at all involved in the work I did. And people who have no idea what work i have completed, are stating that my work has come to 'some shape'.
All of sudden my future project has become everyone's collective project. And I feel like I am being pushed from the driver seat on to the pavement.
It seems to me that the primary purpose of their interference in my work is climb up the ladder, sycophancy runs in their veins. I felt really miserable yesterday.
People are dictating terms to me on how I should carry out my project.
This I think is what feels like politics. Merit, Righteousness is far far away.  Definitely not in the same scale, but I felt like Steve Jobs who was fired from the company he started. But I will also remember what he said ' I still love what I do'.

Give me some Peace

Literally.
I tried a lot to avoid writing this post. Tried to convince my self otherwise. But the Truth is the Truth. The only way I can some peace of mind is to write about it. Literal peace is a long way away.
So here I am living in luxury apartment which is about 27 km from my workplace. Not only that, it is far from other 'happening' places. And this is just one of the problems that I am facing. One may ask , " Then why the hell did you buy it ?"  Well thats a long story. And added to all that, I keep having skirmishes with my wife, because I keep complaining about this 'shit hole'. Yes I am calling my house that.
It all started, when my wedding was fixed. I had to search for a house. I loved my existing 1 BHK, decent rent , peaceful, a big park in front, overlooking the hills. My parents and relatives were convinced that I had to move out of that paradise, because it didn't have two bedrooms. How could we entertain guests, relatives etc. I had two choices, To rent a house or to buy a house.
The rent rates in the good areas had gone up. In fact I asked a colleague advise about renting a house and even paid an advance, in a hurry. I didn't understand if the colleague was helping me or was trying to get popular in the neighbourhood.
In the end I ended up not taking that house, for its dungeon like characteristic. I got back the advance though. I then started to search for houses online, this time with a view of purchasing. I saw an add and went to see the house. It was located about 10 km from my previous residence. It was way far from my office and house, so I just had a look and decided that it was too far. The house was completely furnished and the quality was good too. It was situated on the top most floor.
When I discussed this with my parents and relatives, they convinced me otherwise. Maybe a part of me wanted this house too, I don't know.
But in the end I am living in a luxurious apartment which far away from just about every thing. It also overlooks a connecting main road. So no prizes to guess the amount of traffic noise i have to hear.
The problem is that people become so emotionally attached to houses that even the very notion of moving to a tolerable place makes them loose their cool.
So here I am in noisy shit hole far far away I travel 56 km every day, which is downright stupid, but what can I do ?. So Help me God!

Some Thoughts...

It has been about a month since I watched a satirical movie on blind faith in religion. I am sure you all know what movie I am referring to. For me it reinforced many things that I could never understand.
There are many incidents that seems to be ironical to the very basis of belief in God.
I went to the Chamundi hills yesterday. Needless to say it was crowded.
We stood in the queue and went along inside where I could see a lot of people folding their hands in devotion. A guard was in-charge of crowd control and he kept asking people to move ahead, in not a very polite manner.
Another enclosure, which leads to a better view of the Goddess was guarded and only certain 'privileged' people are allowed access there. I could see a man giving the guard 100 bucks to get into the enclosure.
I was shocked.  As per me a temple is an abode of righteousness and morality. How can a person blatantly bribe a guard and get in ? Isn't this against the very tenet of the teachings of God, whatever religion it be.
On the roads too, I see people driving while talking on cell phones. Two wheelers dancing on the road and four wheelers going at a phenomenally low speed.
But, when a place of religious importance is seen, they dutifully touch their hands to their four heads or some other such action. Why ?
Another example is my neighbor. Money can buy a quality house, but there are certain things money can't buy, a civilized neighbor.
That guy has hijacked the common area, with all his slippers strewn around. He keeps the door of his house open and sits half naked. His TV and woofer will be blaring loud at all times of the day. But every morning while going to lift I see him performing some kind of penance with incense sticks and a bell. I saw him today and he was draped in orange.
It seems to me as though most people think they can be as immoral as they like and expect to be absolved from all their sins by performing some rites and rituals.
It saddens me to see this every day.