The always wanting

It takes a lot of patience and effort to understand the needs of an expecting spouse.
It seems whatever one does, it isn't enough. The fear of labor drives the spouse to such great anxiety that every help done the past seem miniscule.
Pragmatism is construed as insensitivity. I am there to help and to be there during the process. But if I live 500km away, I need to informed ahead of time, how else can I be there. Sarcasm will not yield any result.
I feel like I am soon going to loose control of my life. Goodness is taken for granted.
Whom is it worth living for ? For myself or for someone else ? Is this selfishness or is this honour.
Its surprising that at office I come across as sensitive and at home I am insensitive. What a life ?
I wish I could walk away from it all.

Solo

Before I begin my rant, I should quote Ayn Rand
' I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man nor ask another man to live for mine.'
I was just thinking that every person should have an inner sanctum, a place where no one is allowed to enter, not your parents nor your sibling, nor your spouse.
For me emotion is like a sinusoidal wave, one day you are elated and happy and the next day you are morose and depressed.
The reason for this is  happiness has somehow become people-centric, which is to say highly subjective.
Let me elucidate this further.  I am married and sometimes I feel very happy and joyous in the company of my spouse and sometimes there is anger and pain. There are days that are stressful and we have to work things through.
Thats true of all relations.
The need to interact with other humans is what makes us human.
I feel that many times we dwell on the negative half of the sine wave. A bruised ego.
To make matters worse there will be other influences too, where you or your spouse will have conflicting allegiances. Your wife is also a daughter.
There will be times when you feel that your authority is undermined. I am not talking about being respected, that is something that has to be earned. But I am sure no one would like to get disrespected.
I have to be stoic.
There will be days when things don't go your way at office even though your way is the right way.
There will days when you feel that you are not loved by anyone. You are not a son, nor a daughter but a  responsibility, sometimes explicitly stated.
You are neither a husband nor a wife, you are just added baggage that one has to endure.
Such things are routine and is a part of life.
I can't blame people. If you like a person, you obviously like him/her for certain qualities that he/she possesses.
But these things are routing and pervasive through the entire time line of your life. You can't ride the sine wave. You can only have a DC bias.
In other words, if things go well, the sine is positive, above the bias, but if things go bad the sine is lower than the bias but not less than zero.
There will be ups and down but the band shouldn't go to the negative side.
In equivalent terms, there should be an inner sanctum, a place where no one can reach. Only you can reach.
In office, in addition to the routine task, it could be an area of work or research that just requires a paper and pencil or a computer.
At home it could be a hobby, such as reading a book or a novel or pursuing some other hobby.
It would be difficult at first, it would like being aloof, sometimes wrongly construed as arrogance.
But it has to be done, or else I'll be be blogging again. :P